Sometimes I have the worst job...

On Friday I came to work like any other day, sat through Grand Rounds but noticed that one of our most stoic attendings had been crying. After the lecture was over we turned around and saw a group of residents with pure shock on their faces. Apparently overnight one of our attendings had come in with an IUFD (fetal demise). She is due exactly 1 week before me. She had noticed the night before that she hadn't felt movement for 30 minutes (which is completely normal) so she went to the hospital with her husband (who is also one of our attendings). There were no heart tones. The one thing no mother is ever prepared to hear. That your baby who you have been carrying for almost 9 months is dead. Just gone. No going back in time and delivering just before the something bad happened. It's over. We had had a baby shower for them 2 days before. They had the nursery ready.

After I heard I just felt nauseous and couldn't say anything but oh my God. One of the other residents took my hand and took me to triage to ultrasound Baby G. And there was a beautiful heart beat. Just perfect. Without reason my baby is fine and her's is gone.

I called John later and he said he didn't know this could happen. He thought we were in the clear this far along. Unfortunately I explained you are never in the clear until that baby is in your arms, and then you have a whole new set of problems to work about. Unfortunately in residency I have been a bit of an iufd magnet. I have delivered my fair share + way too many and it is never easy. I can't even imagine telling someone you know. Of course I was on call that night so I new when she delivered. Her OB (the stoic attending) had been there >24 hours only taking care of her, her patient, her friend.

So now I sit here crying, like I did all day that day, thankful that my baby is kicking and growing. So please hug your children, rub your pregnant belly, say a prayer for them.

32 weeks

Well we all knew it would happen...I let the blog go. Life has been busy working and trying to squeeze in all my calls before maternity leave. I am excited that I have a week of vacation starting next weekend and am going home for my baby shower! Carolyn, Lanny, Cate, Brian, and Rosie are all coming home too so it will be great to see everyone.

I'm still fascinated by the growing belly and seeing and feeling the baby move. I'm not sure I will ever get use to it all. I'm measuring well and the craziness of L&D seems to have helped me keep my weight under control. I can't believe in just 2 months our baby will be here!

Hopefully the nursery will be ready by then but at this time there is nothing in there! Any free decorators out there wanting to come fill it in I'm willing!

We keep meaning to take a belly picture but once again haven't gotten around to it. Maybe soon.

21 weeks

So I have finally started to feel the baby move! I teach patient's all the time that it's common to not feel the baby move until 20-22 weeks but I've still been impatiently waiting to feel my own! What an awesome feeling!

21w4d

Here is a belly shot from last night. We went to see How the Grinch Stole Christmas the musical. I would like to say it was great but honestly I slept through 3/4 of it! How embarrassing! It was like my mom watching a Harry Potter movie, she slept through every one of them in the theaters. John enjoyed it though. I guess next time we'll aim for the afternoon show time.

Name Ideas

We got a post card last week with a couple of name ideas. And when I say "a couple" I mean 47 all starting with a J. It is hilarious! The problem is that we don't know who sent it. The card is from Yosemite but we can't think of who has been there recently. The postage info is smeared so we can't tell where it was post marked from. I initially thought it was from Bill and Elizabeth because this is definitely something they would do but the handwriting isn't either of theirs.

Who knows...maybe the baby's name will come from the card. I'm thinking Jacobina or Jenkins.

Anatomy Scan

So last Friday John and I had our anatomy scan. Maybe wasn't so cooperative and kept hands/feet in front of the face the entire time. They did see some choroid plexus cysts in the brain but this is actually fairly common and always resolve. They are only concerning if you find other abnormalities with it, which we didn't. Everything else looked great. We did turn our faces when they looked down below so we wouldn't accidentally see parts. I'm pretty excited that I didn't get a glimpse and still don't know what we are having. I love the idea of surprise!

The picture is kind of hard to interpret but you can see the face with eyes, cute nose, and mouth. The part below it is actually placenta and not body. And then there's umbilical cord to the right of the face. Hopefully we will get some better face pics soon.

The Belly Pics Begin...

So, here is the first of the belly pics. Just this week I've started to feel like there is really something there and not just awkwardness. It still amazes me that something is growing in there!

18 weeks

Cardinals WIN!

The night of the World Series Final Game we met some friends, John and Rita, at a bar to watch the game. It was unbelievable! It was so fun to be in a packed bar with only Cardinal's fans and everyone yelling and cheering. This series has definitely been one of the coolest experiences I've had while living in St. Louis. I became such a Cardinal's fan during this series that John now thinks we are having a boy. His reasoning is that there must be something with testosterone in me making me a sports fan.